Some of the posts I publish are nothing more than a reflection of my own mistakes and the lessons I learned from them. Lucky for those who read my posts, I have made plenty of mistakes and shouldn’t have a shortage of materials any time soon. I am reminded, because this post definitely falls in this category.

When I started edging toward adulthood and leaving childhood behind, I had very little vision for my life. But I was restless, and ready to put the mediocrity I was languishing in behind me. The waters of life needed testing, and I was ready to throw myself to the task with gusto.

At first it was parties, involving drinking, and drugs of all kinds. Determined to keep up my end, I did it with the best of them. Like a battering ram, I flew through my adolescent years, trying this thing and that to please the senses and to find a niche in life. A niche that had nothing to do with the religion I grew up with. I was determined not to touch that with a ten-foot pole.

This spring ran dry on me pretty quickly since I pursued it with as much force as I did. Also probably because I had a praying mother. But I had three years of it, and it did damage enough.

After this season of life, I found the Grace of God through the blood of Jesus and entered a new phase. I was 19.

My direction changed completely but unfortunately my tactics did not. I still had plenty of youthful energy to be able to afford more folly. Or so it seemed was the line of my logic.

Once more I got out the battering ram and started using it in my new life. I thought all one needed to succeed in life was energy and determination. I gave some consideration to the blessing of God, but I still felt a strong need to keep up my end.

This was the case in my walk with God as a whole, as well as any relationships I had. And especially in running the businesses I got involved in. I did it all with great determination—pushing my way through, and giving only small allowances for wisdom and God’s blessing.

God blessed me in many ways, but I also fell on my face many times. He allowed it to happen, because I was limiting His blessing on my life, with my own wisdom and strength. Pushing and pulling, and moaning and groaning, hoping something I did would stick. I did not think about it at the time, but really I was just trying to build my own empire—redeeming myself from the mistakes of my past.

It was arrogant, prideful and foolish. James 4:6 says God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. I had to learn that from experience rather than taking the Bible at its word. I suffered many needless wounds, and heartaches. God longs to bless us, but there are some things that simply block any passage for His blessing to flow through.

In closing I would also like to share a fitting verse I saw on Facebook that a friend shared: Ecclesiastes 10:10 If the iron is blunt, and one does not sharpen the edge, he must use more strength, but wisdom helps one to succeed. –ESV

Sounds like the opposite of a battering ram.

I would like to clarify that I have nothing against hard work. I have simply learned to use my work as a way to walk out what God has already prepared for me to do. Also I do not depend on my work for my ultimate success. Only God’s blessing and favor can do that for me—along with the wisdom He gives.