Rejection is something all people face to varying degrees. And it can be one of the hardest issues to cope with depending on severity, frequency, and source. I faced a lot of rejection throughout childhood and adolescence—mostly from peers. And I spent a long time trying to make sense of how to deal with it. 

Of course if you have no spiritual understanding you make all the wrong choices. I was bitter and wounded, taking it all very personally, to the point that I lost a lot of mental and emotional stability. Drugs, alcohol and all manner of self-destructive habits were ways I chose to cope—all while keeping to myself what the underlying issues really were.  

Coming To My Senses

After the Lord brought me to my senses and I repented of my sins, He also began to show me how to deal with the problems of life with wisdom. Working from the fringes, so to speak, He worked His way inward to the very heart of the issues of my life. 

Of course, this involved facing my past rejections and making sense of them with the illumination of the Word of God and Holy Spirit. This was completely opposite of my accustomed reactionary mode, fueled by a victim mentality. 

The Value Of Rejection

One of the first things He showed me was that there was invaluable purpose in the things I had endured. Suffering does a deep work in people’s hearts and rejection is one of the deepest emotional pains you can endure. Even Jesus learned obedience through the things He suffered (Heb. 5:8). And He, too, faced a lot of rejection, from the earliest days of His ministry—including from His own brothers. 

The sufferings I endured had at first driven me to the furthest thing from obedience. I was extremely rebellious. This was not God’s intention. This was my own flesh crying out for vengeance. But, at the right time, God illuminated my heart to see the futility of my ways and I came to a place that I could begin the journey of obedience. And once I began this journey, I could see how the rejections I had faced made it easier for me to humble myself and obey the Lord. It’s easier to cast aside concerns for reputation in obeying the Lord when you feel you are not highly esteemed to begin with. 

Of course there is the temptation to protect what little we have with greater earnestness, but with the Lord’s grace we can overcome this. 

Forgiveness

But, none of this can have its intended effect if we don’t first, recognize its value and second, forgive those who have hurt us. If we have chosen bitterness as our response to those who reject us, we have filled a deep chasm—created by the rejection and meant for the Lord’s occupancy—with poison. And as we forgive those who have hurt us—from the heart—we are releasing that poison and allowing the Lord the space in our hearts He had created for Himself. 

Forgiveness is an antidote for the poison of bitterness. Even while Jesus was on the cross, He prayed that the Father would forgive those who had put Him there. He was effective against bitterness of heart to the very last. 

Our Own Cross

Perhaps we can be effective against bitterness of heart by following His demonstration—hanging on a cross our very own—crucifying our flesh, in order to release a spiritual forgiveness that sets us free and blesses our adversaries. This can work whether the rejection happened in the past or is currently happening. The sooner we apply this principle in the process, the better off everyone will be. 

Another Biblical Example

One more example from Jesus I find illustrative—especially for dealing with current rejections happening in real time—is the way He handled the rejection of the people from the Gerasenes (Matthew 8:28-34, Mark 5:1-20 & Luke 8:26-39). He had just performed a great miracle—setting a man free from many demons. He was a man who had suffered tremendously and had posed a great threat to the community. But once he was clothed and in his right mind, the community turned against Jesus and made Him leave. 

There is no record of Jesus becoming cynical or bitter for the ironic treatment after His great mercy. Instead, He leaves behind the only person who can still influence that area for His Father—that being the former demoniac himself. 

Mark 5:19-20 …“Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” ²⁰ And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled. – ESV 

Being About The Father’s Business First

You see, Jesus was so focused on being about the Father’s business that He had no cause to take such rejections personally. It was simply an inconvenience of the job. Therefore He reacted pragmatically—simply doing whatever was left at His disposal to finish the work He had come to do. 

Can we crucify our flesh to this degree? Can we be so absorbed in being about the Father’s business? I think it behooves us to reach such a level of maturity—for our own good and for the sake of spiritual effectiveness.